The holiday season has a special way of bringing families together. Between shared meals, familiar traditions, and meaningful conversations, it’s a time to slow down and reconnect with the people who matter most. For many families, though, the holidays can also highlight changes in a loved one’s health, memory, or ability to manage daily responsibilities. These moments can be emotional, and they can also be an opportunity for compassion, planning, and support.
If you are noticing that a parent or aging family member needs more care or guidance than before, you are not alone. Many adult children face similar questions, often while balancing their own families, work, and responsibilities. The good news: thoughtful planning and open communication can make a world of difference.
Start with Observation, Not Assumption
As families gather, you may notice changes such as:
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Difficulty keeping up with personal care or household tasks
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Increased forgetfulness or confusion
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Mobility challenges or an increased risk of falls
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A difference in mood, social engagement, or energy
Rather than reacting immediately, take note of what you see. Small patterns observed over time are more helpful and less overwhelming than a single, emotional conversation.
Choose the Right Time for Conversations
When it comes time to talk, choose a calm moment, not during a big family dinner or holiday activity. A private, warm setting encourages openness and respect.
Try gentle, open language:
“I’ve noticed a few things lately, and I wanted to check in and see how you’re feeling.”
“I care about you and want to make sure you feel supported going into the new year.”
The goal is not to take control, it’s to collaborate.
Be Prepared for a Range of Emotions
These conversations can bring up fear, frustration, pride, or even relief. Allow space for all of it. Listening is one of the most powerful ways to support a parent who may be experiencing changes in their independence.
If the conversation becomes overwhelming, it’s okay to pause and pick it up later.
Discuss Support, Not Just Problems
Support can look different for every family. It may include:
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Hiring in-home care for a few hours a week
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Attending doctor’s appointments together
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Downsizing or modifying the home
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Getting financial and legal affairs organized
This is a natural point to talk about estate planning documents, such as:
These documents ensure your loved one’s wishes are honored and prevent stressful decision-making during a crisis.
Focus on Compassion….Not Perfection
The transition of roles between parent and child is deeply emotional. It’s okay to not have all the answers right away. Supporting a loved one through aging is a process, and each step taken with empathy strengthens trust and connection.
This holiday season may your time together be filled with meaning, comfort, and the knowledge that preparation today brings peace tomorrow.
If you or your family would like guidance in having these conversations or updating important legal documents, the Davis Schilken, PC, team is here to help with compassion, understanding, and clarity. Give our office a call today to schedule a no obligation meeting with one of our attorneys (303)670-9855. We make estate planning simple!